Thursday, November 08, 2007

Moustache Diary, Entry #12

Okay, I’m done.

As a few of you already know, I got home from the hospital yesterday afternoon after a four-day visit. Glad to be out.
Developed an icky stomach and chills on Friday afternoon and by Saturday it was stabbing abdominal pain and a fever. Sunday morning my mom and I shuffled into the ER where they began to evaluate why my body was kicking its own ass.

An IV pumped the fluids in, I had to drink 40oz of contrast, and I got a CAT scan to look at what might be hurting. Not my appendix but in the same area … right where your colon and your lower intestine meet. They didn’t know what it was. Maybe an autoimmune disease, maybe some kind of gnarly infection, maybe something else. They decided to admit me and keep me around for more hospital stuff. And by hospital stuff I mean everything but surgery.

I had blood drawn, I had urine sampled, I had antibiotics pumped into my arm, I was made to drink liters of foul tasting liquid that made me poop pudding (also sampled) until I pooped clear. Finally I was knocked out, given a drug that induces amnesia, and they RotoRootered out my colon and lower intestine with a snaky camera and collected photos and polyps. I’m okay with the amnesia, as you can imagine.
And then I slept it off for a couple days.

Yesterday afternoon they told me that from one of my stool samples they were able to isolate the bacteria that caused all my problems.
Yeah, that’s right, food poisoning.
So I’m out, my family is relieved, I have a bit of a different outlook on things, and I’m about seven pounds lighter.
Oh, yeah. No moustache either.
How ya like me now?


nacho_supreme said...

You look brand new!
I am so glad you are feeling better.

11:11 said...

So glad to see you. I thought you would a little more like Keith Richards, but you look great. I guess you will think twice next time Miles dares you to drink a pint of room temp chicken blood.

cvo said...

I'm glad your ok buddy, that sucks and is way scary. food poisoning bad....

mw said...

whoa. didn't know you were out. glad to know you're better. i've had food poisioning a few times. 3 times from the same place, which will remain nameless here. shows how stupid i am. man, that stuff hurts bad. but, it never took me to the hospital. my father in law has been down for a few days with a wicked stomach infection.

ortiz said...

Glad your ok.

highdesertsultan said...

hey kev,

your moustache must have arched over your mouth while sleeping and planted a few little seeds under your bottom lip. because you missed a spot. it's right under the lip, directly in the center.

Katatonic said...

Seven pounds lighter? Is that how much your moustache weighed?

My theory is that your moustache was harboring dangerous bacteria, hence the cause of your stomach distress. Nice to see you out-and-about and bare-lipped at the Pancake Feed.

typoscura said...

That happened to me once. I woke up with a pain...then it progressed. Went to worse. By the time i drove home that day, i was crunched up in such an awkwardly small ball...i could barely see over the dashboard. Went home, tried to eat, took a nap in the fetal position. Woke up an hour later not even able to stand up my side hurt so bad. Crawled on my elbows to the phone (down a hall and up six stairs). Told my boss the situation, and got out of work. I then drove to the urgent care where they did "tests" on me. They concluded that they didn't know what was going on, and that I should go to the E.R. Got there, by this time my family had finally come to my aid...and was told I was to get a CAT scan. Drank the crazy shit that makes you throw up (if you throw up at all, you have to RE-drink the whole container full) Got the CAT scan...and they decided to admit me, cause they didn't know what it was. I wasn't allowed to eat for 24 hours. They took my blood every two hours throughout the night...the first time the nurse missed the stab/dropped the apparatus and thus caused my arm to spray blood (seriously SPRAYING) all over the place, including the floor beneath me, and her outfit. Woke up in the morning, took a horrible crap, and was finally fed some food. I kept in "down" and they told me I was free to go. After being surveyed by a volunteer, I chased her down the hall to get her phone number. For the next few months whenever I would move fast, or hard (i.e. skating), I could feel some parts inside me a marble in a box kinda. That feeling gradually went away...and I did go out on a date with that chick. But she brought her friend and she sucked. We went to play mini gold in Rosedale was wack.

Marc Walter said...
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