"Only species of the same type will be smashed together, so you don't have to worry about the flying rat, or poisonous Chihuahua nightmare scenarios."

Hoping to find the Darwin particle

Dr. Thomas Malwin, head of the research project, said, "The first test runs will only accelerate microscopic life-forms like bacteria and viruses to high speeds, but theoretically the GAS can handle animals as large as squirrels, hence the squirrel smasher moniker."