"He’s a gun-snatcher"

I should have invested in some assault rifles prior to all the election madness last year and before Chocolate Jesus took office. Now that Barack is in charge, he's gonna take our guns! Well, probably not, but America will most likely revert back to Clinton era policies and we may lose our high capacity magazines and bayonet lugs!

Bush knew what the 2nd Amendment was all about...he knew our Founding Fathers intended that all Americans possess assault rifles with 30+ rounds and bayonets. So he lifted the high capacity magazine and bayonet lug ban on assault rifles when he entered office. What a guy! I definitely slept better at night after the ban was lifted.

Barack, that crazy Socialist mofoe, better not ban that shit again cuz I absolutely gotta have a 100 round drum magazine on my AK-47 with an eight inch razor sharp knife attached to the barrel. 100 rounds of killing power could come in handy on any given day! For example, just the other day a goose almost took out Kevin during our bike ride on the peaceful Nebraska gravel roads. If I had an AK with a high capacity drum magazine I could put 100 rounds in (or in the vicinity of) that bird and then stabbed the bloody mess with my bayonet. Now who's boss? ME! Man, that would have been SWA-EET!