slow your roll

If ever there was a good time to make a poor choice, it's after being DUMPED, right?

Apparently, my timing couldn't be better.

Commercialized Purple Drank is here!

No doubt inspired by the original, this new novelty bev, spiked with melatonin, valerian root and rose hips, is being hawked as "the extreme relaxation beverage."

If you need me, I'll be over here self-medicating with chicken nuggets and some of that purple stuff.

I can't be sure, but if you notice my breathing becoming labored, I think that means it's working.

(Kidding mom.)