In third grade I wanted to audition for a talent show. I had myself convinced that lip sinking Life Could Be A Dream (Shaboom, Sh Boom) to a dirty sock on a stick was a good idea. Really. I think my brother Kevin talked me out of it. I thought it would change peoples lives. I mean look at the lyrics and imagine a nine year old with a dirty sock on a stick. Think about that for a second. Shit wow. Ahead of my time? Probably not. A little fucked up? Yep. Bad idea? Nope. A nine year old's good problem. I think I even choreographed some jagged dance kicks to add a layer if intrigue.
Anyhoo, here's another good problem. Who knows. . . Might change your life.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang. . .
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5 comments:
The stick was the pulled-off aluminium frame of our basement chalkboard and when you told Mom what your plan was she started crying.
I love this. Wasn't there another talent show story where you were doing a ventriloquist routine with a friend? I think I remember you saying that your friend froze when it was his cue to talk to the dummy, then yelled "Eat me!" and immediately punched the doll in the face.
Yep. That time I made it all the way to the try outs. In my excellent adventure comedy duo fantasy I was hopeful he would be the Bill to my Ted. I have sometimes wondered if any of the nuns even questioned what "eat me" meant to fourth graders. My dummy's name was Willie Talk. Mom and dad ordered him from a Sears catalogue.
In 2nd grade I was supposed to play my violin at a talent show. Walking and on the way to the talent show I was carrying my violin in its case and the P.E. teacher saw me and jokingly said, "Whataya you got in there. A gun!?" I thought it was so cool that he said that. We both laughed. So when I went up to play my violin at the show I kept it in it's case, presented it and said "There isn't a gun in here, it's a violin" Paused for crowd laughter that never came, then took out the violin and shakily played "Lightly Row" or some crap.
So many awesome stories...I'm laughing so hard at work today.
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