Friday, May 25, 2007

Hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang. . .



In third grade I wanted to audition for a talent show. I had myself convinced that lip sinking Life Could Be A Dream (Shaboom, Sh Boom) to a dirty sock on a stick was a good idea. Really. I think my brother Kevin talked me out of it. I thought it would change peoples lives. I mean look at the lyrics and imagine a nine year old with a dirty sock on a stick. Think about that for a second. Shit wow. Ahead of my time? Probably not. A little fucked up? Yep. Bad idea? Nope. A nine year old's good problem. I think I even choreographed some jagged dance kicks to add a layer if intrigue.

Anyhoo, here's another good problem. Who knows. . . Might change your life.

5 comments:

-kw said...

The stick was the pulled-off aluminium frame of our basement chalkboard and when you told Mom what your plan was she started crying.

r-fresh said...

I love this. Wasn't there another talent show story where you were doing a ventriloquist routine with a friend? I think I remember you saying that your friend froze when it was his cue to talk to the dummy, then yelled "Eat me!" and immediately punched the doll in the face.

11:11 said...

Yep. That time I made it all the way to the try outs. In my excellent adventure comedy duo fantasy I was hopeful he would be the Bill to my Ted. I have sometimes wondered if any of the nuns even questioned what "eat me" meant to fourth graders. My dummy's name was Willie Talk. Mom and dad ordered him from a Sears catalogue.

r-fresh said...

In 2nd grade I was supposed to play my violin at a talent show. Walking and on the way to the talent show I was carrying my violin in its case and the P.E. teacher saw me and jokingly said, "Whataya you got in there. A gun!?" I thought it was so cool that he said that. We both laughed. So when I went up to play my violin at the show I kept it in it's case, presented it and said "There isn't a gun in here, it's a violin" Paused for crowd laughter that never came, then took out the violin and shakily played "Lightly Row" or some crap.

Little_Wilkins said...

So many awesome stories...I'm laughing so hard at work today.