Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation

The Onion kills it. Now and Then. I came across this article on "Raising the Executive Minimum Wage." Which was written in 2003 and seems way too relevant today.

But, what really got me in stitches was this article on Dick Cheney, specifically a recipe for raising bailout money:

Dip one awkwardly dressed Cheney into 100 gallons of tepid water.
Remove Breifly.
Repeat. Continously.

Which also got me to thinking. This probably would work. When I was in grade school we used to have this huge festival towards the last day of school where you could win tickets to buy things like extra recess, double desert at lunch etc. OR. You could throw 3 softballs at this tiny metal disc in hopes of plunging that salty bastard they called principal. The line went on forever, I think every kid gave up any hope of extra recess, double snicker doodles or skipping out on last day clean ups at the chasing of a dream to see him plunge into that dirty hose water.

And it was totally worth it. So Congress. The White House. Whoever. What do you say. Dunk Tanking Fundraiser front lawn of the white house this summer?